Finally, it began to freeze again and I hope it will last. I had even an opportunity to see the sun longer than five minutes in a whole week.
And, we had good sauna party again. During the evening, it began to snow. It was amazing, not only swimming in the lake (I am coward, I am still afraid to swim in a dark water), but also that snow. Walking or running in it was less hurting when I do it normally just for fun and that soft feeling.
I simply couldn’t resist. We had only about two or three centimetres of snow, but on the wooden pier was nothing to hurt my skin (rocks, branches…). On that place with nice view to the lake, I made an angel in the snow. Of course, it was without a swimsuit. Nobody was close to looking at me what strange thing I am doing there.
After that, I have made big snowball (approximately 0,5 kg) and took it with me to the sauna. It was fine to throw it on the hot rocks, best it was on my skin. Just take a smaller piece of snow from that snowball and rub it on my skin. Great feeling, probably also good peeling. Not only on my arms or legs but putting a small amount of snow on my neck or shoulders made the ice-cold water flow down on my back and chest. A small piece on my head, the small piece just on the hot rocks. Perfect.
Just good evening.
What get better since I am here:
…and painting. Here is much more inspiration. Mostly the lakes are the best inspiration. Only I don’t have enough scientific illustration or ink drawing. I so badly like the scientific illustration. Or details, but here I am experimenting with different kinds of painting (and drawing) and it is nice. I am no longer using only ink in thin lines (0,25 mm is very thick).
It is a long time when I stopped writing something. It was a great thing for clearing my mind and I did it often. This is important. Without writing I can get very easily into the weird mood, or just saying to everybody how happy I am about this small thing (when I am happy, usually I need to share my happiness). It is amazing, I have time to do so many things I like.
Began to learn new language
At spring (or later) I started to joke, which language I should start to learn. My English is only about getting better, my German too. In Polish, I don’t aspire for speaking skill (just reading is enough, it is so easy language). Question was, what will be next? Latin is the language I will never learn properly because I am too lazy to read all those antique texts (and for me, it is useless – vocabulary is enough). I was thinking about Spanish…just because. For any special reason. But I am here and I truly enjoy learning this language (Finnish). It doesn’t seem that badly hard as everybody is saying (of course it is hard).
Practising three other languages
Not very often, not regularly. I am trying to read something in any language at least once a day. Usually scientific (half-scientific – made for people). Reading all those heavy scientific papers is not very common in my case, but when I want to truly know about some topic, I read it. Of course, by writing, speaking and thinking in English, I am bettering my skill.
I am NOT a photographer, but I like making photos of nice things. Mostly I was making macro photography to bring overlooked details to people. When I was in Austria, I started to try making more landscape photos (those unbelievably nice mountains are worth it) and here, I am continuing with it. Most photos I am doing are taken with a mobile phone when I am training outside (taking my 0,5kg camera is not what I want).
People may disagree, but I am going “outside” so often now. If you compare it to “once in a semester” or even less, is much more often here. Maybe it is because about 50% of all those activities are not just blind drinking with loud stupid music, but calm more quiet talking (and drinking) in a sauna. That is more fun.
More stable mood (more happy days)
It is weird to say, but my despair from the school was truly big (and still is). After five years (of regular studies) I am very tired from all there and, I haven’t had so much time for myself – most of the time only doing school work and training. In master’s studies, it is much better and I have more free time and I am still saying to myself “It is only one semester left. You can do it.” – I must because I said to myself “You must”. This all generates stress and stress generate more days with a bad mood.
Known here more people than in last three years
This is related to the point higher. And with the “new school” and new roommates and so on. It is nice. Some of those people I truly like, most of those people I “just know”.
Changing myself, having different angles of view
This is one of the best things and worst things since I am here. It generates confusion and desire to be alone even more than I usually want. (I can be alone for few weeks without any consequences – of course, without an internet connection and without seeing a person.) Being here gives me new angles of view and that is great. I can think differently and I like it. Even when I disagree with someone’s opinion, I like to listen to it.
What is going worse since I am here:
Less motivation for work
Not only for school here. Here it is just so “free” and I can do everything else I like (that is AMAZING!), but I am not motivated for doing work here, nobody pushes us, almost no deadlines, nothing. I can work truly hard if I want and I am motivated (I can spend 12 hours of working, in a day when I am deep in my workaholic state). I am “working” here often, but not on the things I should do. Like my thesis for example. I haven’t moved much.
Less motivation for training
Somehow I just don’t want to go outside. It is like “Oh it is dark again.” It means in my head “It is evening or night, time to go sleep, not training.” When the snow was outside, it was much easier, I can say I love snow and I am enjoying the cold. Paradoxically, I am enjoying even strong head od side wind, with sharp snow blowing to my face. It hurts, I can’t open my eyes (I don’t see) and sometimes my eyelashes just freeze together. Is it good? It is. Once I was standing on the bridge in heavy rain and strong wind, completely wet, without mud catcher just enjoying the view. This week, similar. Just standing on that same bridge, squinting somewhere on the white horizon. Strong wind with sharp snow blowing to my face. Probably very cold feel temperature, but I had my jacket partially unzipped (I felt hot, it was only about -5°C). Does it hurt? Is it uncomfortable? Am I cursing? Yes, for every question. Is it worth it? It is; it is amazing. I only can’t find the first motivation to go outside.